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wotmatt
Alan Shore Of Forums
 
 360 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2009 : 11:34:52 AM
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Alright guys, here is something that can go on forever. Everyone knows that there are certain things on wrestling TV that always happen. everytime you see it, you say, "Wow! Didn't think THAT was goin to happen." So we would like the WoT fans to help us in creating the Definitive "Rules of Wrestling." I have started you all out with 11 rules that are the most obvious.
1. If a wrestler is tossed, clotheslined or thrown through the ropes during the first five minutes of a television match, a commercial break will follow.
2. If Jim Ross prefaces any statement with, "As God as my witness" the statement following is never true.
3. Whenever a new character is introduced using more than five vignettes, chances are they suck.
4. A chop is used when a wrestler is to lazy to stomp their foot when they punch.
5. One elbow never breaks a headlock or sleeper hold, but three should do the trick.
6. On the TV show before a PPV, if in a match for a title on that PPV, a wrestler is "standing tall" at the end of the show, he will lose the title match on the PPV.
7. If a wrestler needs some cheap heat, expect some potshots at local sports teams or the city itself.
8. If two wrestlers are billed as brothers or family members 80% of the time they are not really related.
10. If someone gets popped on the wellness policy, post suspension count on them losing....A LOT.
11. When you need a wrestler to look good, count on them wrestling someone with the last name Hardy.
Have fun with this and lets see how many we can get.
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wrestlingontap
Denny Crane Of Forums
  

USA
671 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2009 : 11:55:31 AM
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12. In a title match, when an announcer says, "I don't see how ______ can overcome these odds and win this match." The wrestler will indeed win the match.
13. A side russian leg sweep will NEVER win a match.
14. In a main event talent match, an opponent will never tap the first time a "finishing move" submission hold is applied. |
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Rated R Superstar
Shit Disturber Of Forums
 

344 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2009 : 12:29:51 PM
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15. No one outside of the current main eventers on RAW or Smackdown have a chance in hell of winning the Royal Rumble
16. Every time you watch tna you will say, "Shit the ring still has six sides"
17. Once a Diva does Playboy, she will become irrelevant on WWE tv.
18. The WWE will always pump cheers through the sound system if John Cena doesn't get the desired crowd reaction. |
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Nick
Resident Scotsman Of Forums
 

United Kingdom
231 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2009 : 1:08:30 PM
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19. Whenever something is "guaran-damn-teed", it happens!
20. Big juiced up steroid freaks will always get pushed before more talented smaller guys.
21. The more WWE films you do, the less talented you are.
22. The less wrestling experience you have, the more likely you are to get a job as a writer. |
 
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wotmatt
Alan Shore Of Forums
 

360 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2009 : 2:11:40 PM
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23. If all three brands announce teams are present at a PPV, count on the ECW table being destroyed first.
24. When a wrestler takes the timekeeper's chair, the timekeeper will be violently thrown off of it.
25. In a ladder or table match, the first ladder or table set up will never be used first. Chances are it will only set up a bigger spot later in the match.
26. Only in TNA can a Title change hands on a DQ without a stipulation applied to it.
27. Just like in acting if a wrestler has a beard, he is supposed to be taken seriously.
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Edited by - wotmatt on 01/21/2009 2:12:34 PM |
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Nero
Voice Of Reason In Forums
 

246 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2009 : 2:12:21 PM
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28. Vince McMahon will charge you $50 to watch his son-in-law run rough shot over some poor loved by the crowd bastard.
29. TNA will mimic everything that WWE does, only somehow make it worse.
30. In a TNA match featuring "X Divison" wrestlers there will be at least 2 suicide dives in a row.
31. On a tna ppv card the show will always open with a clusterfuck X division match.
32. The louder Don West is the shitter the match. |
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Edited by - wotmatt on 01/21/2009 2:20:46 PM |
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Nero
Voice Of Reason In Forums
 

246 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2009 : 2:28:57 PM
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| 33. WWE PPV's are 2 hours 45minutes long, with 10minutes left in the show, the main event will start to feature a series of "false finishes" and near falls to trick those of you who can't tell time. |
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Derek
American Gladiator
 

USA
317 Posts |
Posted - 01/22/2009 : 3:56:49 PM
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| 34. TNA will cross the line. WWE will be watched by thy world. |
"I am the king of wishful thinking!"
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Motor City Machine Guns
Token Minority Of Forums
 

USA
266 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2009 : 10:37:01 AM
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35. Randy Orton will get in a fight with a fan no less than 2 times a month
36. Watching TNA for the first time will be far more confusing than watching an episode of Lost for the first time.
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 quote: Ain't No Stopping Me Now!!!
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winstonsmith1984
The Dude Of Forums
 

361 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2009 : 7:11:47 PM
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37. If you wrestle DELO you wont walk again
38. If your name is the blue blazer you WILL DIE!!!!!
39. if you are named after a planet, you will be shot.
40. if you are a von eric you will die horrible (dereks rule) 41. if you do meth you will be WWE champ.
42.if you get electricuted, you will stutter.
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claremmafanuk
American Gladiator
 

United Kingdom
172 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2009 : 07:01:11 AM
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43.If your the Champ and you come out 1st you will lose
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wrestlingontap
Denny Crane Of Forums
  

USA
671 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2009 : 2:30:21 PM
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44. In regards to the World Title and WWE Title, only on will be successfully defended on a ppv night 99% of the time. The only 1% that does not apply to this rule is if HHH and John Cena are defending titles on the same show.
45. Being drunk at a live event, whether it be ROH, Indy, TNA, and/or WWE, automatically makes the event better than it really is. Alcohal and emotion can be a cruel whore to your mind.
46. Celebrity involvement no matter how fringe or detremental to the product will always occur at Wrestlemania.
47. Face paint of any kind outside of the 80's and early 90's is incredibly gay and should not be worn. Chosing to wear face paint will be an open invitation to be ridiculed and not taken seriously.
49. **Even in wrestling "guy liner" makes you gay not deep and mysterious.
50. A black man will never receive top billing in the wrestling industry.
51. Ladders, tables and chairs do indeed make boring match ups more interesting.
52. When the McMahons take center stage a ridiculous angle/storyline will ensue and and that's not meant in a good way.
** Undertaker is exempt from this rule.
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Derek
American Gladiator
 

USA
317 Posts |
Posted - 01/27/2009 : 12:25:01 PM
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| 53. Undertaker sucks |
"I am the king of wishful thinking!"
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Derek
American Gladiator
 

USA
317 Posts |
Posted - 01/27/2009 : 6:53:38 PM
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| 54. Thou shalt not be colored or steroid free, for ye shall be pushless. |
"I am the king of wishful thinking!"
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Derek
American Gladiator
 

USA
317 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2009 : 8:49:52 PM
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| 55. Rule 47 is incorrect. Face Paint = Ratings. |
"I am the king of wishful thinking!"
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Ortiz
TUF Contestant

USA
25 Posts |
Posted - 07/07/2009 : 6:45:37 PM
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56. A Randy Orton match will include at least 2 headlocks.
57. John Cena will have at least a 10 second pause before his music hits. (Labadoooo)
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